Do you remember the 8th grade trip to Boblo? I can’t see how you wouldn’t considering that tank top I had made, just a simple white tank top to wear with my new neon splash shorts, but I had “Proud 2 B Jason’s girl” put on the back. All my friends loved it! I think you were pleasantly surprised too, you had one hell of a smile pasted on your face when you saw it.

It was such a great day, nice and sunny and warm. We went on every ride together, even the merry-go-round. I have to admit, that damned zit on my nose was a Debbie downer though. Man, Mother Nature just isn’t very nice sometimes. I remember you kissed my nose, because you knew I was twisted over it. You’ve always been that way, do anything to make me feel better. I will never understand why you loved me so much or why God blessed me with you, but I’ve come to the understanding that there’s no point in wondering, just cherishing.

The boat ride was awesome, because we just sat there and talked about anything and everything. We were so young! I’d have a panic attack if our boys were dating at that age. We talked about what high school was going to be like. I was not happy about leaving middle school, it was fun to me. I remember you laughing saying I had to be the only person you knew that thought school was fun. You said I was not like most of the girls you knew. I wasn’t sure if that was a compliment, but it sounded like one so I took it. You kept putting your hand on my knee, and I kept moving my knee. It’s not that I didn’t want you to touch me, but I was nervous because I didn’t know what to do. I remember you asking me, “Does it bother you when I touch you?” and I said, “no” and then you said, “Why do you keep moving then?” and I said, “Because I like it” The look in your eyes was quite memorable, and you had that big cheese smile again.

By the time the boat ride home came along, you had your arm around me and I was completely at ease. I think we made our friends sick. They all just left us alone, because we were in our own little world. I think this is how folks treated us even to this day. We must have given out a lot of toothaches. It’s always been that simple though, to just shut out the world, and just love. You made it simple. You made it very simple to love you. Even now, when I’m alone in bed crying because I miss you, it’s so simple to love you…effortlessly. It’s so much easier to love you, even when I’m hurting or afraid or lost, I think of you and how I feel about you, and everything that doesn’t make sense begins to clear up. You clarify the unclear, even now that you’re gone. You illuminate my life Jason, and I am so grateful to you for it. I love you!

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