So, as most barely teenage girls would be, I was exceedingly enthusiastic about the eighth grade dance. You were too, but you didn’t want to make it known, but I could tell. Apparently, it was a really big deal that I “danced like a sister” not sure if that insults a sister or compliments me, but I’ll take it. You made me laugh, and the face you made at the teacher/student basketball game was funny. We did our dance routine and you had to pick your chin up off of the gym floor. I didn’t understand the importance of having rhythm back then, but of course as a grown woman now, I fully understand that implication, good on me I guess….

I don’t think the dance was much of an interest to you until that basketball game. However, I was very strategic in my ensemble: the right ballerina flats, the perfect stretchy pants (your favorite!) and a blouse that came just past my backside or Dad wasn’t having it. In addition, I had to make sure I had all the right 80’s colors, everything neon, especially neon pink. The makeup and hair called for a few issues to Teen Bop, because I had to consult what Madonna was doing at the time. My parents weren’t happy about the heavy eyeliner and trio of shadow colors, but it was a dance so they gave me some wiggle room. We talked about the dance. I remember you pointing out that the last time we tried dancing it didn’t work out do well for you. Ouch! I also remember telling you that it was okay if you didn’t want to go and that I understood. That was like some kind of aphrodisiac, because the minute you knew I didn’t care, you wanted to be there in the worst way. I have to admit, it was entertaining watching you completely out of your element. You knew how to dance, you just didn’t do it, but you had no problem standing in the center of the dance floor to just watch me and Lisa. You and Daryl both seem to be having a good ole’ time, it was kind of cute! Then came a few slow songs, and one happened to be “Crazy for You” by Madonna….oh the nostalgia. It was so cute, you knew where to put your hands, but you were so reluctant, you didn’t want to cross the line which was opposite your mojo. I summed it up as being brought up right, brownie points for you at this point.

We danced so slow, and you held me so tight that I could feel the outline of your chest and stomach, man you were a ripped little effer! I never understood the benefit of that until I felt you, I think it scared me a little. It also scared the hell out of me when I thought about that later, because I realized that if I felt all those details about you, I know you did too. Ugh! When you want to love someone, I mean authentically love someone, you open yourself up to being so vulnerable as to be loved, and it’s the scariest and the bravest endeavor you’ll ever encounter. It means you give someone permission to love you for your true self, and it’s the most beautiful sacrifice you will ever make. As vulnerable as that step makes one feel, you made me feel like it was the right and perfect place for me to be. Thank you Jason…I love you….still….

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